The Richest Man in the Galaxy
by Let-The-Wookiee-Win
Summary: What is it that defines a man's wealth? The credits in his pocket or the love in his heart. And where does that love come from? His capacity to love others? Or others capacity to love him.
1. Chapter 1

_Up until this point, my writing has been influenced by reading novels from what was the Expanded Universe, hence Han and Leia married and had three children, twins Jaina and Jacen and another son, Anakin. Luke eventually married Mara Jade and produced a son Ben, though they make only occasional visits to my world which revolves around Han and Leia, their family, its ups and downs and how, despite everything they might go through along the way, the couple remain married and – for the most part – happily so._

_This is the last of those influences. From here on in, whilst readers might recognise the odd character, the world evolves purely from my imaginings. Stick with me, there's lots of ups and downs to come..._

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Leia's eyes felt unbelievably heavy and it took every ounce of her strength to prevent them from closing without her consent.

Following the injuries she had received at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong, a lengthy period of rehabilitation followed by physical therapy and her enforced retirement from service in the New Republic Senate, Leia had been persuaded to persue a different path by finally writing her memoirs.

So she had enrolled, part time, on a writing course at Coruscant University attending classes three times a week and for the most part enjoying them.

Professor Nalle, however, was her least favourite lecturer. His voice was at best monotonous and at worst completely boring and today's session on syntax was inspiring in it's complete lack of originality. At least, that was what the note passed to her from her fellow student, Cade Mlalla, said.

Leia stifled a laugh with a yawn, which only made her lethargy worse.

Over the past four weeks, Leia had welcomed her daughter home from a six month tour of duty to discover she brought with her an unwanted pregnancy. She had been there through Jaina's eventual decision not to terminate, only to suffer a spontaneous miscarriage and all the emotions that had followed.

She had smiled away her sadness when her youngest child, Anakin, and his girlfriend, Tahiri Veila, had returned to their Jedi studies on Yavin IV; reminding herself that Anakin Solo, like the maternal Grandfather he was named after, was born to be a Jedi. Leia was immensely proud of the talent he showed, but even so, she missed him like crazy when he was away.

Her eldest son, Jacen, wafted somewhere between New Republic Tactical Envoy and gopher for the Solo family business in freight haulage. He was constantly at odds with his siblings over the proper and pertinent use of the Force and as such spurned it for ninety percent of the time. However, he was quick to learn, with a keen eye and he had the sweetest, most gentle nature of any of the Solos. Male _or_ female.

When the klaxon finally sounded, the day's end could not have come quickly enough.

"Thank the Heavens!" Cade rolled his unnaturally blue eyes at Leia. "You coming for a drink?"

"If I was twenty years younger, I'd still be too old for you Cade!" Leia told him, closing down her datapad.

"Yeah I know. But you're cool enough to tell me how bad my chat up lines are when I try them out on you." He shrugged.

"Some other time, my sexy ex-smuggler husband likes me home to tend to his every need. And I do mean _every_ need."

"I love it when you talk dirty like that," Cade sighed. "I hope to meet this husband of yours one day, tell him what a lucky man he is."

"Oh he already knows that." She said as they exited the lecture hall.

"I have this theory that he doesn't really exist," he said confidentially. "I think you just pretend to have a husband and you're really just going home to a houseful of whisperkits."

"Aw..." Leia patted Cade's shoulder playfully. "And Nalle said you had no imagination at all!"

"See you next week?" Cade asked.

"You know it." Leia agreed, hailing a hovercar.

Her legs were tingling, aching and just plain hurting by the time she had climbed the stairs to the apartment, but she was due to have the last of the nerve stimulators removed the following month and she was trying to build up her strength so as not to have to rely too heavily on a walking frame.

Even so, the sofa had never looked more tempting when she finally entered her apartment.

Nor had her husband's cheery welcome.

"You're late. He give you lines or something?" He kissed her forehead lovingly.

"Mock all you want. But when I have a bestseller, I'll be the one laughing." She told him and sniffed the air.

"Jaina!" Han indicated the kitchen with a nod of his head. "She's made your favourite. Well, one of your favourites at least."

"Take a seat, it's ready." Jaina told them, placing a tureen on the table. "Alderaanian stew. _Without_ the Corellian influence!"

"I hope there's spices on the table." Han growled as Jaina disappeared back into the kitchen, returning with warm home-baked bread.

Leia noted only two bowls and side plates.

"You're not eating with us honey?" She asked, easing her aching appendages under the table.

"You all right?" Han whispered at her as he sat opposite. She nodded her reply.

"Jag's taking me for dinner then we're going to catch a holomovie." Jaina answered.

"A holomovie? Where? Not that place on 51st?" Han asked.

"Why, what's wrong with the place on 51st?" Leia queried.

"No, we're not going there." Jaina replied. "And Dad means because it's got great make-out booths at the back."

"I thought they were family booths," Leia commented, sampling her stew. "Mmm, it's good."

"They are, but the kids book 'em and use 'em to make out in." Han wrinkled his nose and grabbed the mixed spice pot, shaking it vigorously over his stew.

"You'd know this how?" Leia narrowed her eyes at him.

"I deliver there sometimes. You drop a box of wafers in a booth by accident, you don't forget what you see in a hurry."

"We won't be late. Back by midnight." Jaina said.

"Back _before_ midnight. _Well_ before midnight. By eleven in fact." Han told her.

"Dad! The holo doesn't even _start_ 'til nine and you know how the traffic will be. There's _no way_ I can be home by eleven." Jaina whined.

"Fine. Midnight. But no later. And no necking in the doorway!"

"Dad!" Jaina averted her eyes.

"Whatcha gonna see?" He asked with a grin. "Might tag along. Hold your popped corn for ya."

"Oh just some new thing with Hal Forro." Jaina sounded nonchalant. "It's about this archaeologist who goes in search of some ancient artefact and finds adventure along the way. Romance too probably. Not your kind of thing at all Dad."

"Hal Forro's a dream," Leia smiled, "A bit like your father, thirty years ago."

Jaina looked between her mother and father and back again.

"Sure Mom. If you squint _real_ hard." Jaina clearly wasn't about to agree.

"You have a good time." Leia smiled and winked at Jaina who smiled back.

"He not picking you up?" Han asked, following Jaina to the door.

"I said I'd meet him down in the parking lot. He has this feeling you don't like him." She answered.

"It's not him, it's his unhealthy interest in _you_ that I don't like." Han grumbled.

"Oh Daddy!" Jaina rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek. "You and Mom behave while I'm gone."

"No fear there! She looks dead on her feet again." Han cast a quick glance over his shoulder as Leia struggled to keep awake while eating her stew.

"Run her a bath." Jaina suggested. "Find something that needs massaging. Find something that _doesn't_ need massaging even, then massage it."

"Thank you Jaina but I get enough tips from that over-priced sex therapist she still insists on us seeing!" He moaned.

"You mean the relationship counsellor." Jaina corrected.

"Whatever." Han dismissed before pressing some credits into her hand. Jaina looked down, puzzled. "Make sure Jag gets himself an 'ice cream'. Tell him to get the kind with the extra lube. They're the best one's."

He looked at her knowingly.

"Dad!" She blushed her understanding, kissed him again and skipped off down the corridor.

When he returned to the table Leia was sniggering.

"What?" He asked.

Leia wiggled her little finger at him, still giggling.

"I am _not_ wrapped around her little finger!" Han insisted and resumed eating his stew.

"You _so_ are!" She laughed. "You know she saw that holo with Jacen last week?"

Han stopped eating and looked up at her.

"So if you try asking her about it, she already knows the storyline." Leia said, then frowned. "Where is Jacen anyway?"

"Sulking in his room." Han reported and returned to finish his stew.

Leia waited for him to elaborate.

"I grounded him." Han finally confessed.

"You grounded him!" Leia exclaimed.

"Hey! Don't give me that look. This was not my fault." Han said defensively.

Leia glared at him.

"I told him he could go into town _after_ he had unloaded the Falcon. _He_ chose to ignore me and take the 'speeder. So...I grounded him." Han explained.

"He's not a child Han." Leia chided him.

"No, I know that. And that's why he has to learn that he can't shirk his responsibilities." Han argued. "I asked him to finish a job but he wanted to go into town to buy some trinket for that girlfriend of his..."

"You grounded him for wanting to buy Tenel Ka a present?" Leia suddenly felt very awake.

"I grounded him for putting his personal pursuits ahead of his professional responsibilities." Han corrected.

"Which, of course, you have never done." Leia observed.

"It's only a week." Han shrugged.

"He'll miss Tenel Ka leaving for Yavin IV." She realised.

"Will he?" Han asked innocently.

"Okay. I get you not wanting to share a beer with the man who would be your only daughter's lover. But what do you have against Tenel Ka?" Leia asked. "She's beautiful...she's smart...she makes Jacen happy..."

"She happens to be the only daughter of your ex..." Han bit back the comment. "...of Isolder. Who happens to be someone else I don't want to be sharing a beer with."

"We've talked about this Han." She sighed, leaning her arms on the table.

"I know." He leaned forward too and covered her hands with his. "And I'm sorry. But you know, I only say it as a bait."

"And you know every time you say it, it makes me think you believe it."

She looked sad to him. Like he'd single-handedly been responsible for at least another half dozen sessions with their over-priced sex therapist.

"You wanna maybe take a soak in the tub?" He asked her after a moment.

"I would really like that." She smiled.

"You maybe want someone to scrub your back?" He gave her his lopsided grin.

"Don't the Dreadnaughts have a game tonight?" She asked.

"Sweaty guys or beautiful naked wife...it's a tough choice..." He mused.

"Then let me make it easy for you. I'll soak in the tub while you watch the game and I'll join you on the sofa when my fingers are just this side of turning into flippers." She suggested. "Deal?"

Sensing that was as good as it was going to get, Han agreed with another soft kiss to her forehead before clearing the dinner things and adding a few drops of her favourite lotion to a bathtub of steaming water for her.

He helped her in and, when she was ready, out of the tub. Left her to dry and dress herself in a light nightgown and robe and within half an hour she was spooned against him on the sofa, her shallow breathing telling him she had fallen asleep.

He muted the holoscreen so as not to disturb her slumbers. He could see the way the game was going, he didn't need to hear the inane commentary as well. As the Dreadnaughts suffered another pounding defeat Han growled a stream of violent Corellian swear words he hoped Leia could not hear.

"Dad." Jacen started as he walked into the living quarters, being shushed by his father. Han's long index finger moved from his lips to point at Leia lying beside him.

"Is Mom okay?" Jacen whispered.

"Just tired." Han answered, watching his child approach slowly. "What is it son?"

"I wanted to apologise for this afternoon," Jacen said simply. "I was wrong to take the speeder. And I was wrong not to finish my chores first."

"Apology accepted." Han said and looked down at this sleeping wife. Aware that Jacen made no move he then added. "Was there something else?"

"I wanted to ask permission to go into town tomorrow." Jacen asked.

"I thought you went today." Han frowned.

"I did. But I couldn't complete the transaction today so the guy said he'd hold me for twenty four hours." Jacen explained.

"What the heck you buying her son?" Han asked, sounding quizzical.

"It's a..." Jacen blushed and avoided his father's eyes. "It's...a...a love token. A locket. It just took me a while to decide which one."

"You know what a love token is, don't you son? You do know it's supposed to be like a pre-engagement gift, right?" Han queried.

"I know." He replied sulkily.

"You really into her that much Jace?" Han hoped he hadn't sounded as sceptical to Jacen as he had to himself.

"What's wrong with me wanting to show her how much she means to me?" Jacen shrugged.

"I'm just saying..." Han offered.

"At least I'm not getting her pregnant!" Jacen snapped. Han just glared at his son who added, quickly. "I'm sorry Dad. I didn't mean it. Really I didn't."

"You better not let your sister or your mother hear you say things like that." Han growled at him.

"I'm sorry. Really. I just...I understand I shouldn't have taken off this afternoon. And I'm not asking you to un-ground me or anything. I just want to buy the locket and present it to her before she leaves for her training on Yavin IV. Please Dad."

Han considered his son. _ He's not a child_ Leia had chided him. And it was true. The infant he had cradled and rocked to sleep; the boy he had carried on his shoulders; the youth he'd taught to shave was indeed now a grown man.

"Does it have a diamond?" Han asked.

"A small one, yes." Jacen confirmed.

Han fished in his pocket and withdrew his personal marker.

"You buy the locket, I'll pay for the gem." Han tossed the marker to Jacen who caught it one handed. "But I want that back!" He pointed at the marker.

Jacen looked at first amazed, then thrilled, giving his father a beaming smile. His face softened and his eyes drifted to the sleeping form of his mother.

"I'm glad you and Mom are back together." Jacen said.

"I'm glad too son." Han agreed and looked lovingly at his wife. "I love watching her sleep."

"She looks so...peaceful." Jacen observed.

"It wasn't always like that. There were times when it was hard enough just getting her to relax a little. Sleep, proper decent sleep, was something I thought she'd never experience again."

"I'm gonna go send that shopkeep a message to expect me first thing in the morning." Jacen told his father, who waved his approval without taking his eyes from Leia.

From an inside pocket of his pants, Han withdrew the holographic marker Leia had given him as he had stacked his reward for saving her from the Death Star. Thumbing a tiny button, the shimmering image of a much younger Leia Organa balanced on the marker's edge.

His eyes moved from the hologram to his wife and back, twice. Then he shut the hologram down and replaced the chip in his pocket. Nothing would part him from that memory. Only death. And he wasn't planning on that any time soon.

Han nudged Leia gently awake.

"Did they win?" She mumbled sleepily.

"No honey. They lost again." He smiled crookedly.

"I must have drifted off." Leia yawned. "I'm just so tired."

"Well, you're not getting any younger you know." He teased, helping her to her feet.

"I'll have you know, women of my age are considered to be in their prime!" Leia declared and slipped her hand through his offered arm as they headed toward their bedroom.

"Must be why I feel in my prime too." Han leaned down to snicker into her ear. "They say you're only as old as the woman you feel."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Leia smirked and turned to wrap her arms loosely around his neck. "You feel like fooling around a little?"

The mischievous twinkle to her eye had returned and Han loved it.

"With you?" He queried, noting Leia's less than amused stare. "Last one in bed gets to sleep on top!"

He was naked and on the bed before Leia even had chance to take a step or two.

"That's so unfair! You know I can't keep up with you." She glowered at him.

"Then here, let me help you." Han's eyes sparkled with just as much mischief as Leia's had. And something more. Fire mixed with tempered desire, wanting and old fashioned lust, as he slipped the loop of her robe from it's knot.

They'd had a tough couple of years and although sex was only a part of their healing process. It was a part they both taken very seriously and enjoyed immensely.

Han had been taught everything he could ever need to know when it came to pleasuring a woman and it had been his pleasure to guide Leia through that particular learning curve with aplomb.

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HoloVision was Coruscant's only fly-in holomovie theatre and was usually packed with steamy windowed speeders bearing couples more interested in their own couplings than those on the holoscreen. And tonight was no exception. Perhaps but for one lone speeder, where Jagged Fel and Jaina Solo sat watching the holo story unfold before them.

"Good choice Jay, this is a great holo!" Jag grinned.

"Glad you're enjoying it." Jaina tried not to sound too sarcastic. "You know, when you suggested we come here I didn't realise it was to actually _watch_ the holo. I mean, look around. _Nobody_ else is!"

"You don't think it's a bit soon? I mean, you've only just come out of one relationship." Jag pointed out, smiling to himself.

"It was sex Jag. There was no romance, no 'will we still respect one another in the morning', just sex. That's all." She said, rather coldly he thought.

"So you didn't feel anything for him? I mean, I'm sorry if I'm being insensitive but isn't it supposed to be the other way around. The man who 'loves 'em and leaves 'em' and the woman who sees a wedding band behind every kiss."

"What is it with you and getting married! You sure it's not _you_ who sees a wedding band behind every kiss?" She asked. "You know, my Mom and Dad came pretty close to splitting up. After seeing the hurt they inflicted on one another, not to mention on the family, I'm not taking anything for granted. Sure I'd _like_ to get married. Maybe. One day. But for now, I'm happy with just having a good time."

She looked out of the window at a couple in a speeder beside them who were clearly having a _very_ good time. "And some sex occasionally!" She added under her breath.

"I wasn't raised to engage in sex." Jag told her, laughing at her look of incredulity. "What I mean is, I was brought up to believe in sexual intimacy as part of a loving relationship."

"While I was raised to behave like a complete whore I suppose?" She arched an angry eyebrow at him. "I'll let _you_ tell that to my Dad when you drop me home, shall I?"

"We've been down this road already Jaina." Jag shook his head. "I find you incredibly attractive, you know that, but ultimately we want different things."

"Can I just remind you, it was you who chased me!" She turned sideways to face him. "Before I joined Rogue, during _and_ after!"

"Maybe I needed to be sure." He apologised.

"Maybe you're just an asshole!" She turned back to stare out at the screen.

"Maybe I am." He agreed after a while. "But when you go all fierce like that, I really want to have sex with you."

Jaina Solo turned the icy stare she had inherited from her mother on the young man grinning at her.

"I thought you were raised to believe in, what was it you said, 'sexual intimacy as part of a loving relationship'." She goaded.

"Isn't a truly loving relationship about compromise?" He asked.

Jaina's features slowly softened.

"Why do you even like me?" Jaina queried, genuinely puzzled. "My Dad tried to humiliate you when he found us together; we split up, I think, because you knew I needed to grow up; I end up getting pregnant doing exactly what our families raised us both _not_ to do. And yet you're still here. Why?"

"Maybe I think you're a work in progress." He suggested.

"Oh and you think you can complete my development." She challenged.

"Jaina Solo when I'm with you, I stop thinking altogether!"

"I like you Jag," she sighed, "I like you a lot. I'm just...I'm not the nice girl you deserve to be with."

"You really don't understand the concept of signals do you Jaina?" Jag said.

"Excuse me?"

"One minute you're talking about having sex, the next I'm too good for you. What is it you actually want? Tell me, please, because I'm done trying to figure you out."

Jaina thought. Thought hard, before answering. Truth was, she more than just liked Jagged Fel, but she struggled to get beyond the feeling of self-loathing she currently felt about herself.

"I want the last five years to go away. I want to go back to before Chewie died, before all the madness surrounding Mom and Dad." She turned sad, doleful dark eyes on Jag. "I want to be able to start over and just not be the me that I've become."

"Let me guess." Jag smiled, a finger pointing toward the holoscreen. "He finds the artefact, falls in love with the girl and they all live happily ever after. Right?"

Jaina blinked.

"No. He finds the artefact, which covert Government officials take from him and the holo ends with him walking away from the girl." She replied, puzzled.

"Ready for the next instalment in the franchise." He nodded and extended his hand to her. "Jagged Fel, nice to make you acquaintance."

"Did you just have a mini-stroke or something?" Jaina queried.

"And _you_ are?" He prompted, his hand still held in her direction.

"Jaina Solo." She said, humouring him.

"Well Jaina Solo, it's a lovely night. What say we quit this joint and go find somewhere quiet to get to know each other." He lowered his voice. "By that I mean talk, obviously. Don't want you thinking I'm one of _those_ kinds of guys!"

With a flick of a switch he disconnected the sound from the holodisplay and put the speeder into a steep tailspin until he was clear of any other traffic, then headed over to the Manarai Mountains, one of the few spots on Coruscant not bespoiled by cities or skyscrapers. Jag parked the speeder and kept the running lights low.

"Make-Out Mountain?" Jaina observed. "You think this is a good place to just talk?"

"I'm guessing your Dad has you under curfew and it's the only spot I know that's both close and quiet." He answered.

"Just how well do you know this spot?" She teased through narrowed eyes.

"Let's just say the landscape and my butt are fairly well acquainted." He replied, to which she laughed. "I love hearing you laugh."

"Believe it or not, I quite like having something to laugh about." Her smile fading to sadness. "I wish it was as easy to turn the chrono back."

"You feel like talking about it?" He asked.

Jaina wanted to tell him. Wanted to tell him everything. She just wasn't sure, when it came down to it, if she could. However, with her decision made, she took a deep breath.

"Chewie was my Dad's best friend like, forever. When he died, Dad kinda lost it for a while. He did something to my Mom. Something I can't tell you about. Not because I don't trust you, but because it wouldn't be fair on them. All I can say is, it was bad. _Real_ bad! And they split up for a while over it and Dad's behaviour in general I suppose. He was getting drunk pretty much every night. Some nights I don't think he even sobered up enough to fly properly the following morning. Fortunately Jacen was crewing with him and he could take over for most of the routine flights. I figured it was all Mom's fault." Jaina rolled her eyes at herself. "Mothers and daughters have notoriously difficult relationships. Though in my defence I didn't know what it was Dad had done back then. Anyway, I treated her so badly. I even told her I wished she was dead. Pretty vile, right?"

He didn't answer, not that she waited for him to respond before carrying on.

"Then, they started meeting up. Sometimes by accident, sometimes by arrangement. It was obvious they were still in love. Dad gives Mom this look. I don't just mean like he's looking at her naked, but like he can see right down into her soul. Sounds odd I know, but if you've had a lifetime of seeing that look you'd understand. That's when Isolder came onto the scene again. He'd had a bit of a thing for Mom before she and Dad married and Dad still smarts when he hears his name!"

Jaina sniggered. "He's such an easy tease where Isolder's concerned. So's Mom actually. I wonder sometimes if maybe there wasn't just a little bit more of a spark there than Mom admits to. Anyway, you and I had agreed to cool things and I guess Isolder saw me as a way of getting at Mom. Or Dad. Or both of them. That's when he told me you were seeing someone else and I believed him. Right before he made his move on me and I fell for it like a complete sucker! You kind of know the rest, Mom got hurt by the Vong; she and Dad started working at patching things up and I got posted to Sarafur."

"Where you got pregnant. Maybe it wasn't just your Dad who lost it for a while." Jag suggested

"It wasn't like that." Jaina assured him. "I wish it was."

"So what was it like?" He asked.

"It's not easy, integrating with the Killiks. I mean, they're nice beings. Don't get me wrong. But being part of the collective, inside the hive mind, it can be quite intimidating. I guess being force sensitive and a twin gave me an advantage over others."

"Like Raynar Thul you mean?" He asked.

"Raynar was supposed to relieve me. He arrived a month before my tour was due to end but it was obvious right from the start he was struggling. I offered to help support his transition." She leaned back, closed her eyes and sighed deeply. "I never knew Raynar had a crush on me, I swear, not until I started working with him on Sarafur. Thing is, you feel everything. _Everything_ Jag. All their feelings, their sensations, their passions. Then one night, Raynar and I were alone..." She groaned. "I feel so stupid now! There was some fruit in a bowl. We both reached for something, our fingers touched. And we just..."

She glared at Jag who was looking at her quizzically.

"Well do I have to spell it out to you?" She demanded. "We had sex. Okay? It wasn't romantic, our eyes didn't meet, we didn't suddenly realise we were in love. We just gave into overpowering feelings of lust and had sex!"

They were both silent for several minutes until without warning Jag climbed out of the 'speeder, walked to Jaina's side and offered her his hand. Tentatively she took it and let him help her from the 'speeder and walk her to an area of grassland.

"I was seventeen, shamefully drunk and I don't now remember her name or for that matter even the colour of her eyes, but this is the spot where we both lost our virginity." He told her before leading her over to a gnarled old tree. "And the carving, 'JF & SH, Forever' stands for Jagged Fel and Soo Harna. It lasted about four months."

"Jag..." Jaina interrupted.

"We all make mistakes." Jag quieted her with a finger across her lips. "Some of us are just better at being repentant than others."

"It doesn't change the fact that we want different things though."

"You like me. I like you. You want to get married one day. I want to get married one day." He argued, then gave her a sly grin. "You like sex. Well guess what, three out of three makes us the perfect couple."

"How did you know about Raynar Thul?" She enquired, ignoring his comment.

"He told me. Actually he boasted to me." Jag replied.

"Oh great!" She exclaimed. "So I suppose the whole of Rogue knows."

"No. I made it pretty clear that if he spread any gossip, I'd tell your father about him. He's not stupid enough to tangle with Han Solo." Jag glanced at his chrono. "Which is why I'm going to suggest we hustle because there's something else you need to know about me. I've grown kinda fond of my genitals right were they are!"

Jaina laughed again.

"But first. I want you to say I can see you again." His stern look stopped her from interrupting. "It doesn't mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Not right off anyway. Just meet to talk. Go for a caf. Watch a holomovie. See where it takes us."

_But there's more._ She thought. _More I should tell you. Something that might actually make you hate me._

After a while Jaina's face softened and she planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"See where it takes us." She confirmed with a nod.

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Han Solo reluctantly broke the kiss and gazed up into the eternity of his wife's beautiful, dark brown eyes.

"Seriously, Leia, I _can't_! Not again!" He wailed. "It's not that I don't want to...I just don't have anything more to give!"

"I can't believe that the great Han Solo..." She said, her tongue lazily tickling his earlobe. "Has nothing more to give after only three times..."

"Four. Actually." Han corrected, his eyes rolling back a little in his head. "And you've bled me dry, ya She-Witch!"

Leia's lips nipped and nibbled their way across his chest, down his torso to blow a raspberry in his belly button.

He laughed and tucked his hands under her armpits to pull her back up his body.

"Oh no you don't Princess." He told her as he guided her back up to lie, sprawled across his body.

"Why won't you let me do that for you?" She asked. "I know you like it. All men like it."

"First off, how do you know what all men like and second, you know why I won't let you do that."

"You do it to me." She complained.

"First, I like doing it to you. Second, I like how much you like me doing it to you. Third, you taste amazing when I do it to you. And four, I will repeat, you know why I won't have you do that to me."

"I want to taste you." She whispered in his ear. "I want to feel you in my mouth, taste you with my tongue."

"It aint happening sweetheart." Han reiterated.

"You like me touching you." She persisted.

"I like a great many things sweetheart. But not that. Not from you." He kissed her forehead and rolled her gently onto her back.

Leia's eyes sparkled in the dim bedroom light.

"Sorry to disappoint Princess, but the only fluid I have left in my body is pee. And I'm about to evacuate that too." He planted another light kiss to her forehead and climbed out of bed.

Leia sighed as her eyes followed his butt cheeks sashay their way to the 'fresher. She hadn't felt this amorous in quite a while. _Must be making up for lost time._ She thought and chuckled to herself. When Han returned, he hastily grabbed his sleep pants and pulled them on.

"That's it sweetheart, I'm officially running on empty." He explained.

"I still want you!" She purred.

"Great. Give me a straight eight hours sleep to recuperate and I'm all yours. But right now, you'd be flogging a very dead beast of burden." He said. "You heard our little girl get home yet?"

"No." She replied with a sly grin. "But I was rather concentrating on other things."

"It's after Midnight." He noted from the bedside chronometer. "I'll go check her room."

Leia wanted to stop him. Wanted to remind him, that Jaina wasn't a child any more and to just let her be. But she knew him well enough to know he would only be worried about her, not angry if she was later than she had agreed to be home. Leia sighed deeply and yawned, allowing sleep to claim her.

Han, meanwhile, padded through the silent apartment fully expecting to find his daughter's room empty. He was therefore pleasantly surprised to find her home, if crouched against the wall with her face in her hands.

He watched her silently before speaking. "How was the date?"

"It wasn't a date Dad. We're just friends." She answered.

"He messing you around again?" He rumbled.

She turned a sullen face up to her father. "Dad, is it a lie to _not_ tell someone something as much as it is to tell them things that aren't true?"

"If you're looking for a moral compass I'll go get your Mom." He said, wearing his lopsided grin. "Or, you could just tell me what it is you're talking about and I could give you my take on the situation.

"We talked about stuff that would make any other guy run a mile. Except Jag. He just keeps on coming back for more." Jaina shook her head.

"Maybe he really likes you." Han suggested. The word 'love' would have stuck in his throat had he tried to use it.

"Do you think he'd still like me if he knew what I contemplated doing?" She mused.

"Sweetie, if he holds that against you then he's not worth the effort." Han said and eased himself into the space beside her.

"I'm not talking about the termination." She sighed. "Right before the miscarriage, we kissed. And, oh Dad, it was so wonderful. I know you don't like him much..."

"Now I never said that!" Han corrected and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Besides, it's not him. No man'd be good enough for my little girl."

"We kissed and all I could think was that if I slept with him, right then, he'd never know the baby wasn't his." She turned large, sorrowful eyes on her father. "I hate who I've become. I don't want to be this person any more but I just don't know where to start."

Han sighed and considered what his daughter had told him.

"Well?" She asked after he had been quiet for some time. "Do I tell him?"

"I like women." He told her. "I like the way I feel when I'm with them. I like the way _they_ feel when I'm with them. Your Mom now, she was a right royal pain in the ass when I first met her. Probably that was what attracted me to her. She was about the only girl _not_ to fall for my corny one liners in at least the best part of a decade. That's called a challenge and you know me, always up for a challenge. The odds were stacked against me and I love a good gamble. So I took a chance, stuck around and sure enough little by little we grew to kinda like each other."

"Is there a point to this Dad?" Jaina wanted to know.

"My start in life wasn't the greatest and your Mom was constantly begging me for answers. I sidestep them mostly because I'd just remind her of how things were under the Empire and that would lead to Alderaan and I don't want to cause her that kind of pain. She suffered enough when it all happened, no need to drag it up again." He said.

"Just as I thought, no point at all." Jaina mumbled.

"The point is, if you want my advice well it's this. What happened, happened. If he doesn't give a crap, then you shouldn't give a crap either. Put it out of your mind and just let your futures unfold before you." He tenderly kissed her cheek.

"Isn't that the same as lying though?" She queried.

"Sometimes sweetheart, a lie is more truthful than the truth." He said and winked at her. "Now bed, before our talking wakes your brother up."

Jaina wasn't sure whether her father had helped very much but accepted his advice and kissed him goodnight.

Han crossed the living quarters to the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer, swigging it back and thinking of his wife. Before Leia, there had been any number of women in Han's life; Bria Tharen, his one time lover and for whom the saying 'least said, soonest mended' applied. The nameless prostitute who had taught him everything he would ever need to know in the bedroom. Then there was the blonde, the brunette or the redhead he could find in any dingy cantina, who had been all too eager to share a few drinks, not to mention his bed. Then finally there was the bar soaks and dock whores. They were the women who most commonly fell for Han's corny one liners and by and large had one rule, penetration was fine but bodily fluids, if deposited at all, had to be done so orally only. Oral hygiene was both cheap and less time consuming than it's gynaecological counterpart.

They were the reason he wouldn't let Leia perform oral sex.

He finished his beer, recycled the bottle and returned to find Leia deep in slumbers. Careful not to wake her, he climbed in behind her and spooned himself to her shape. They fit together so perfectly, it was like they were made to be together. Han inhaled the scent of her hair, felt the warmth of her body in his arms and thanked the Force that after everthing that had gone before, she was still his.


	2. Chapter 2

In the morning Han woke first, slipped from his sleeping wife's side and let the cool water of the shower slowly wake him. Two small hands made their way around his torso to cover his chest as a soft pair of lips kissed along his spinal column. Han smiled and removing her hands, turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He cupped her face in his hands and smiled down at her.

"Well, you did promise if I gave you eight hours straight sleep you'd be all mine." She murmured.

"Technically, it was a little under seven hours but I'm willing to let that pass." He drew her lips to his and they kissed, water cascading down his back and splashing them both.

"Dad, you in the shower?" Jaina called.

"Yep." He called back and kissed the tip of his wife's nose and then her eyelids.

"Mom, you in the shower too?" Jaina called again.

"We're having sex. Go away!" Leia called back.

"Okay then." Jaina called out with a snigger.

"Don't tell her that!" Han chided.

"Why not? You're not trying to wriggle out of your promise to me are you flyboy?" Leia teased, her lips puckering his nipples.

Han growled something and wrapped her in his arms, crushing her to him.

"I'm sorry, our parents can't answer your comm at the moment..." Jaina reported to her brother Anakin across subspace. "They're having sex in the shower."

"But I need to speak to one of them!" Anakin exclaimed.

"Sorry. What's so urgent?"

"A bunch of the guys want to go up to the abandoned Mining Outpost. I need permission to go with them." Anakin explained.

"Which guys?" Jaina pressed, sensing Anakin wasn't being entirely truthful.

"Does it matter?"

"It does if it's just Tahiri Veila and you're going there on a scouting mission." Jaina eyed her brother suspiciously. "Cos you know Dad'll freak and that's nothing to what Mom'll do."

"Will you just tell them I called and ask them to get back to me?" Anakin scowled.

"What's Uncle Luke say about it?" Jaina pressed.

"He's fine with it so long as I get the okay from Mom or Dad." Anakin confirmed.

"Hold on..." Jaina went back to the corridor outside her parent's bedroom and called to them. "You two still at it?"

"Yes." Her mother answered, though clearly no longer in the shower.

It had proven more difficult than Leia had imagined with her still weakened legs, so Han had carried her back to their bed where they now continued with their lovemaking.

"Anakin wants to go study at the Mining Outpost. Uncle Luke's cool so long as you guys are. Can I tell him okay and you'll confirm with Uncle Luke when you're...um...done?" She called.

"Yes!" Leia answered.

"That 'yes' to me or 'yessss' to Dad?" Jaina sniggered.

"Just tell him okay!" Han barked and returned to complete his task.

"I just spoke to them," Jaina told Anakin on her return, "They say 'yes' and 'okay' and they'll talk to Uncle Luke later."

"Thank you." Anakin rolled his eyes, then wrinkled his nose. "You didn't see them, you know, doing it did you?"

"Do I look like a Gundark?" She arched her eyebrow at her brother. "Solo out."

She closed the link and smiled to herself. She liked Tahiri. Liked how she fit into their family as though she was meant to be part of it. She kind of liked Tenel Ka too, although the Warrior Princess could be somewhat abrasive given the chance. But more, she liked that her family was a family once more. And she especially liked that her parents were back to their old, sexy ways with one another.

Meanwhile, Han and Leia lay in a tangle of damp bedsheets and hot, sweaty arms and legs, breathing hard.

"Of course," Han said, his arm holding Leia's naked form to his. "You know I'm gonna have to have another shower now. And I'm gonna be late for the pickup. The trade link's gonna be rammed. I'll probably get clobbered in taxes for missing my delivery slot. _And_ I'll be so late home I'll miss the Dreadnaughts getting hammered again." He mumbled, trying not to fall asleep. "At least that's one positive!"

"Listen to you! You sound like a responsible businessman." Leia chuckled. "You should go."

"I know. I know I should. But, I got a problem with that honey. I got a big problem with that." He said.

"Oh?" Leia too was fighting sleep.

"Jace? Hey Jacen?" He shouted. "Can you go get the Falcon warmed up and I'll be with you in five."

His son shouted back his affirmative.

"So, where's the big problem?" Leia asked.

"Right here..." Han rolled her onto her back and pressed himself between her legs.

"Oh!" She sighed. "That _is_ a big problem! Let's see if we can't fix that between us."

xxxxxxxxxxxx

After drawing a protracted and somewhat vocal climax from them both, Han and Leia showered, dressed and started their day's routine.

On the Falcon, Han clamped a fatherly arm around Jacen's shoulders and pulled the young man into a bear hug.

"Daaadd!" Jacen squirmed from his father's hold.

"Son, I gotta contact your Uncle Luke so how about you go get that trinket for that little lady of yours and meet back here in, say, a half hour?" Han suggested.

Jacen readily agreed and sprinted off to collect his love token. Han smiled as he watched his boy go before putting in his call to Luke on Yavin IV. It took several minutes for Luke to appear on the screen before him.

"Hey Luke, what's this about Anakin going to the Mining Outpost to study?" Han asked.

Luke laughed. "Study? Is that what he told you?"

"He's not there studying?" Han asked.

"The only thing my students study at the Mining Outpost is their own naval, or somebody else's!"

"Why that...cunning...little...chip off the old block!" Han grinned.

"He's a great kid Han. You and Leia should be very proud of him." Luke said.

"I'm proud of all of my kids." Han told him.

"I'm sure. So, how is everything?" Luke asked.

"Leia's getting stronger every day. Not looking forward to having the last of the stimulators removed though." Han answered. "And Jaina's mostly recovered, I think. She still sheds a few tears now and then but I'm not sure whether that's her hormones or her relationship."

"She'll get there Han. Just keep doing what you're doing for her and she'll be fine." Luke nodded.

"Thanks." Han smiled again. "How's Ben and Mara?"

"Ben is..." Luke thought hard. "He's incredible! Changes every day, you know?"

"Enjoy it while you can kid. Before you know it, he'll be all grown up and forging his own way in life." Han advised.

"Nah! I'm gonna keep him so he never grows up." Luke chuckled.

"Yeah. Right. If only." Han could see Jacen returning. "Gotta go. Number One Son is coming back with his love token for Tenel Ka. Need to get my 'disapproving face' on me."

Luke shook his head. He may have aged, his hair thinner and greyer than it was when they met, but Han Solo was Han Solo. And he always would be.

"I'll be sure to give Anakin your 'stern face' when he and Tahiri return." Luke smiled. "Skywalker out."

Han swung his chair about as Jacen entered the cockpit, personal marker outstretched for Han to retrieve.

"You get it son?" Han asked, holding his hand out for the box.

"I got it." Jacen sounded relieved. "But it's supposed to be bad luck for anyone but the recipient to see it."

"Have you seen it?" Han queried.

"Obviously." Jacen shrugged and Han raised an eyebrow in query. "Okay, but remember it's a girl gift."

"I do know what girl gifts look like! I married a girl, remember?" Han chided, looking down at the small gold locket with the tiny central diamond on a fine golden chain.

"You think she'll like it?" Jacen asked, trying to gauge his father's expression.

"Is it from the heart?" Han posed his own question.

"Yeah." Jacen readily agreed.

"Then she'll love it. Or she's not worthy of receiving it in the first place!" Han handed the box back.

"Daaadd!" Jacen repeated and tutted, sliding the box into his pants pocket.

Han swung his seat back to the viewscreen while Jacen buckled into the co-pilot's chair. He had a feeling he knew someone else who would love it, or at least one like it, and promised himself he'd get one on order for when they renewed their vows. He'd have it inscribed with something suitable and get it delivered to Yavin IV. Yeah, that'd be a great idea. He smiled to himself. Didn't hurt to let the soft-hearted scoundrel out of his box from time to time.

So long as he didn't make a habit of it!

Han's business prediction proved partially right. He _was_ late for the pick up and the trade link _was_ busy. However on arriving late at his destination, he encountered only sympathetic understanding and was not charged extra for missing his slot. Once their drop was accepted and signed for, Han and Jacen embarked on their journey back to Coruscant.

"You know, I been thinking." Han said, after putting the Falcon into hyperspace. "After your Mom's op she's gonna need me home to help her. So I figured, if you're up for it, you could take over the day to day running of the business. Just until she's on her feet again. No pun intended, obviously."

"You...you'd trust _me_? On my own with the _Falcon_?" Jacen eyed the controls nervously.

"Well...you wouldn't be on your own. I'd getcha some help." Han explained. "But, yeah. I trust ya. The old girl likes you. She wouldn't let you finger her controls the way you do if she didn't!"

Han gave Jacen a knowing look and his lopsided grin while Jacen glowed. Almost physically.

"Wow! Yeah! I mean, wow! I won't let you down Dad." The boy stammered.

"I know you won't son. Wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think you were up to it." Han ruffled Jacen's hair affectionately.

The boy had inherited his father's unruly hair to a degree and it didn't relax easily after being fussed with. Not that Jacen seemed to notice, he was too busy taking in the enormity of the responsibility as well as soaking up the look and feel of the controls he'd only had partial control over previously.

Han smiled again inwardly and reflected on just how his life had changed over the past couple of decades. Furtively glancing to his side he watched his son puzzle over a control panel, then saw recognition dawn. If it hadn't been for the crazy old man and that dopey naïve kid...although, it could be argued if it hadn't been for needing the money to pay Jabba...in fact, what it came down to was if the Empire hadn't made him dump his shipment...so in truth, this was all down to the Emperor. Who was a Sith. With an apprentice, waiting in the wings. Who turned out to be Leia's father. So, in fact, this was all Leia's fault. From a certain point of view.

Han's smile broadened. He'd have to find a way of thanking her for the best years of his life a little later.

"Hey Dad, what's this button do?" Jacen asked, a deep frown across his brow.

"Son," Han said, his tone very serious. "Don't ever, _ever_, touch that button. Okay?"

"Why? What's it do?" Jacen's eyes were like saucers, his voice low and trembling.

Han slid his finger over the button, hovered a moment, then depressed it as Jacen gasped.

"It plays your Mom's favourite tunes!" Han grinned as an Alderaanian lullabye burst through shipwide static.

Jacen sat back in his chair and sighed. Sometimes his Dad could be such an asshole. And sometimes, times like now, he could just be his Dad.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

When they arrived back at their docking bay, Han sent Jacen off home while he secured the Falcon and arranged a little business with a well respected Jeweller. He grabbed a beer and something quick, fried and full of fat before heading home himself immensely pleased with the design the Jeweller had shown him and the ideas he had set in motion.

Leia's beaming smile was a welcome sight as he entered their apartment. Equally welcome was her warm embrace.

"You smell incredible!" He wantonly growled at her.

"You smell of beer and grease." She told him, wiping the corner of her lips. "You taste of beer and grease too."

"A little stodge never killed nobody." Han grumbled.

"Not wholly true, but a little of what one fancies does one good. Or so I'm told." Leia said.

Han grinned lasciviously.

"We have company." Leia explained through a smile and nodded toward the balcony.

Han looked and could see Jaina chatting with Jagged Fel. His grin faded rapidly.

"What's _he_ doing here?" He asked.

"Jaina invited him for dinner." She lowered her voice. "I think because she knew you were going to be late."

"Looks like he's had dinner, so he can go now." Han half-snarled.

"Han! Be nice. He's been by Jaina's side throughout...well, you know...throughout everything."

"I'll try." Han tried to sound convincing. "But I'm makin' no promises!"

"Take him a beer out and ask Jaina to help me a moment would you?" Leia smiled up at her husband.

"Eight hours." Han groaned, before explaining for Leia's puzzled look. "You're supposed to be eight hours clear, bottle to throttle. So if he's drinking, he can't fly. If he can't fly, I suppose he's staying here the night. An' if he's staying here the night, he sure as Hell better be sleepin' in Anakin's room!"

"See? It's not so hard is it?" Leia grinned and patted her husband's chest. She thrust two open bottles of Corellian Ale in his hands and indicated the way.

"The good stuff?" Han exclaimed, looking at the bottles. Leia's expression told him to shut up and walk away now, while the bottle was still in his hand and not inserted in an orifice.

"Er...sorry to interrupt but, Jaina, your Mom wants you." Han said, stepping onto the balcony.

"Did she say what for?" Jaina queried.

"Dishes or pots or something. I don't know, whatever it is you women need each other for I guess." He shrugged.

"Back in a moment." Jaina assured Jag and kissed his cheek lightly. Something Han noted through narrowed eyes.

"You wanna beer?" Han asked, sounding like the right answer might be no but Jag took his chances.

"Thanks." He accepted the offered bottle and took a swig. "Great beer."

"Corellian. The best." Han growled and took three very long swallows of the golden liquid.

"Great daughter." Jag said, trying to maintain a neutral smile.

"Part Corellian. Also the best." Han told him and the two men fell silent.

"You have a lovely apartment. Really great location too." Jag said after a while.

"We like it. Grew our family here." Han answered.

Han took another three gulps of beer.

"Sir, if I may..." Jag cleared his throat.

Han immediately interrupted. "Look son. My wife likes you. My daughter likes you. All my kids think you're great."

"Why, thank you Sir." Jag interceded.

"I, however, am Jaina's father. That means, I don't have to like you. All I have to do is tolerate you and do my damnedest not to kill you." Han told him.

"I understand Sir. But if I may..." Jag swallowed.

"You may not." Han continued. "I'm gonna tell you the way it's gonna be. I _will_ tolerate you. And I _will_ do my damnedest not to kill you. But, son, you overstep the mark and all bets are off. Got it?"

"What, may I ask, constitutes overstepping the mark?" Jag queried.

"What!" Han angrily barked.

"Well, are you saying I can kiss her, so long as there are no tongues involved? That I can hold her hand, but not put my arm around her waist?" Jag wondered if he was about to push his luck, but continued anyway. "Or that we can make out, just not make love?"

"Are you challenging me boy?" Han seemed to tower over Jag with his hands clamped to his hips as he glared down at the young man.

"I...er...yes, I...I guess I am." Jag fronted up to the man he hoped one day he might call 'Dad'.

Han regarded the young man. And slowly his eyes, his face and his whole body softened.

"Good for you son." Han gave him his lopsided smile. "Any man who's prepared to stand up to his girl's father is prepared to stand up to others for her too."

Han clapped an arm around Jag shoulders. "You want another beer? We still got some of the good stuff."

"I shouldn't Sir. Eight hours and all that." Jag said.

"You gotta be somewhere son?" Han asked.

"Well, no Sir. But I don't like to fly, not even an airspeeder, if I'm even technically under the influence." Jag explained.

"Responsible. I like that in a young man. Especially a young man who's seeing my daughter." Han eyed the boy again. "So, why not stay the night."

"Here Sir?" Jag sounded surprised. "You have a guest suite?"

"We have a vacant bedroom with Anakin away." Han scratched the back of his neck, nervously. "Unless you and Jaina want to...you know...share?"

"I don't think we're at that stage in our relationship yet Sir." Jag assured him.

"Didn't seem to stop you last time." Han observed, then held up a hand in apology. "Sorry. That was then, I know."

"Sir..." Jag shuffled his feet. "I don't expect you, or Jaina for that matter, to fall in love with me overnight. But...if you agree...I'd at least like the opportunity to see where things take us."

"You're asking the wrong Solo." Han grinned. "Since she was six Jaina has known her own mind. If you want to see where you and she might go, you gotta talk to her son. Not me."

"Understood Sir. Wish me luck?" Jag smiled at Han.

The two chinked bottles.

"Let's go get those beers." Han held Jag around the shoulders again. "There's a game on too, if you're into Smashball."

"It can be a little violent, but I enjoy the odd game." Jag said, worrying he might offend his host. "The Dreadnaughts suck!"

Jaina and Leia froze on hearing the words as Han and Jag stepped back into the living area.

"Tell me he didn't just say Dad's team sucks!" Jaina whispered to her Mother.

"I'm afraid he did sweetheart." Leia had to admit as her daughter sighed beside her.

"The _Corellian_ Dreadnaughts?" Han drew himself up to his full height again.

"Yeah. They so suck this season." Jag shook his head. "I got this theory that they're laying bets on their opponents and throwing every game to win the bet."

"But that's cheating." Jacen exclaimed from the sofa, whilst searching through the sports channels.

"Corellians don't cheat!" Han insisted. "They play the odds." He added with a grin and indicated Jag should sit. "You ladies done?"

Han slid into the sofa between the two young men, arms spread across the back cushions.

"We were just saying, there's a fascinating documentary about to start over on Seven Eighty." Leia said and receiving three incredulous stares in response. "But you boys enjoy the game. The Dreadnaughts are sure to win sometime."

"Don't count on it!" Han spat. "Three beers would be good though."

He flashed Leia his 'and I'll thank you in person later' grin that she knew and loved. She returned with an ice cooler and six beers.

"And don't even _think_ of slobbering over me when you come to bed if you get drunk flyboy!" She reminded Han.

"No Ma'am." He winked at her and leered at her rear as she and Jaina left the room. Twenty five years and three kids. And she was still the hotest woman he'd ever had the pleasure with.

"You think Jag'll be all right?" Jaina asked as Leia increased the lighting in her bedroom.

"Your Dad's sharing his beer with him, it's like he's already part of the family." Leia confirmed.

"So, what is it you wanted to show me?" Jaina enquired.

"Your Dad and I have been talking and we're thinking about renewing our vows _before_ they remove the rest of the stimulators. While I can still put one foot in front of the other." Leia withdrew a large box from the back of a wardrobe. "So, I wanted your opinion on this."

She pulled a long white silk gown from the box, holding it against her frame.

"That's...gorgeous!" Jaina gaped. "I mean, it's plain, but plain's good. Simple. Elegant. Says, I am what I am, take me or leave me. But..."

Jaina narrowed her eyes, considering.

"But? But what?" Leia wanted to know.

"Maybe just a little sparkle? You know, around the trim..." Her eyes lit up. "I know, we could have it embroidered with a message. Something that means something just to you and Dad and no one else."

"I know the very thing!" Leia beamed. Mother and daughter, once so at odds now completely in agreement, smiled at one another.

Jaina felt it first. Like a cold wind blowing through her soul, chilling her to the very core and resulting in tiny goosebumps rising across her body.

The Force.

The Force was speaking to her.

No. Not speaking. _Crying_ out to her.

Her breath caught, her gasp inaudible.

Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong with someone.

And Jaina's senses were straining to understand what and who.

In the living quarters Jacen was next, turning silent and paler than even his mother had ever been, as an overpowering sense of urgency swept over him.

"Mom." He mouthed, unable to vocalise the word.

"Can't hold his liquor!" Han chuckled to Jag who was trying to read Jacen's expression.

Back in her bedroom, Leia let her gown fall and crumple at her feet. Her heart had stopped. She was sure of it. The pit of her stomach was ice cold and one word screamed at her, over and over.

"Anakin!" She whispered.

"Mom?" Jaina finally spoke. "There's something wrong. I can't feel Anakin. Why can't I feel Anakin?"

"I don't know..." Leia breathed. "I can't tell if he's blocking us."

"He's not blocking us...Mom..." Jaina squealed. "_He's not there!_"

Leia grasped Jaina's hand and hurried into the living quarters where Jacen was breathing rapidly.

"Han." Leia was calling.

"Already on it!" Han called back from the secure transmission centre.

It took a few minutes for the connection to the Temple on Yavin IV where Han was greeted by an anxious looking Luke.

"I don't know what to tell you Han. I have no definite information." Luke was explaining. "I had the same sensations that Jacen had and I've had calls from across the students here...hold on...I may have something. I need to take this."

Luke placed Han on hold while he took another call. Han fumed silently and less than patiently waiting for Luke to come back to him. Meanwhile, Leia gathered her children in her arms soothing them in both words and deeds with Jagged Fel watching nervously.

"So...er...so, this is what it's like. Being a Jedi?" He asked. "Feeling each other and stuff?"

"Technically it's what it's like being Force Sensitive." Leia replied. "But it's not like we feel everything all of the time. It's really only when the feelings are unexpected. Or intense."

"Or not there!" Jaina added, becoming distressed. "And Anakin's not there Mom! He's not there!"

"Could he be hurt?" Jag asked.

"Don't you get it?" Jaina turned on Jag, glaring and shouting at him. "If he was hurt, we'd feel that. We don't feel that. We don't feel _anything_. He's not hurt. _He's. Not. There!_"

"He could be in a trance." Jacen suggested. "A Jedi healing trance."

Jaina glared disbelievingly at her twin.

"If he was hurt..." Jacen elaborated. "He could be protecting himself by falling into a healing trance."

"That's crazy and you know it!" Jaina snarled.

"Fine! Then you explain it!" Jacen barked back.

"Stop it! Both of you!" Leia pleaded. "I won't have you shouting at one another."

"Honey." Han's quiet voice broke through the verbal melee.

Leia turned, her husband's mournful expression confirming what she already knew.

"No!" She faltered, shaking her head. "Please, no!"

Han's mouth moved, but no sound came out.

Jaina's hand flew to her mouth, stifling her cry as Jag grabbed hold of her shoulders and pulled her into his tight, protective embrace.

Han was by his wife's side in three long strides, pulling her into his arms, holding her to him as their emotions overwhelmed them both.

Jacen stood trembling, his eyes downcast until his mother's small, soft hand reached out and tugged him into hers and his father's hug.

They stood, holding one another, feeling the pain and the hurt and the unrelenting sense of loss for what seemed like an eternity.


	3. Chapter 3

Han had rarely, if ever, been more relieved to see Winter. She quickly organised Jaina and Jacen, helping them to pack a few essential items to take with them to Yavin IV and just as quickly managed to arrange very discrete passage for the Solos.

Despite Han's insistence to the contrary, Winter succeeded in persuading him that the Millennium Falcon, even with a false ID, was simply too recognisable to make the journey at a time when the tragedy was being widely reported. Besides which, Winter had argued, no one would be in a fit state to fly her.

While Han confirmed arrangements with Luke, Winter helped Leia prepare for the journey, emerging from the couple's bedroom at the same time as a drawn-looking Han exited the apartment's secure transmission room.

"How's she doing?" Han asked, nodding toward the bedroom.

"I've seen her look better." Winter replied, acidly. "I've also seen her look worse too. Of course, that was after you left her."

"I didn't leave her." Han shot back. "We merely took some time apart."

"Following the loss of your friend." Winter commented.

"That's right." Han answered, waiting for the verbal stomach punch he knew would be coming.

"Shouldn't you be going then?" She asked. "After all, it is about now that you desert her."

"I didn't desert her!" Han growled and frowned at Winter. "And how could you even think that at a time like this?"

"Perhaps _I'm_ not the one thinking it." Winter replied with a raised eyebrow.

Han looked from Winter toward the bedroom and back again. "I'd never..."

"Then be sure _she_ knows that." Winter told him, sternly. "I'll be back shortly. Her Highness needs some medication for the trip."

Han watched Leia from the doorway as she placed simple clothing items first in her bag, then in his.

He could see her mentally working out if there'd be enough before adding a couple of extra sets of underwear each. He approached her quietly to softly clasp her shoulders from behind.

"I haven't finished." She told him, shrugging from his touch.

"There'll be enough." Han whispered.

"I don't know...I mean, what if one of us wants to stay on?" She queried.

"Leia." Han placed his hands on her shoulders again and gently turned her to face him. "There'll be enough."

She wouldn't meet his gaze he noted, so he instead pulled her to him and rocked her slowly in his arms.

"I know what you're thinking. But this is different to Chewie."

Her arms crept around his back and she hugged herself to him.

"It was _me_ Chewie felt he owed a life debt to." He elaborated. "Then you, Luke, Jaina, Jacen and Anakin after. When he died, I felt it was _my_ burden to carry. No one else's. And I felt I could do that better on my own."

He lowered his head to kiss the top of Leia's. "I was wrong and I have to live with that regret every day." He cupped her face and tilted it up to look at him. "It's not a mistake I intend to _ever_ make again." He told her forcefully.

"I can't go through this alone." Leia said simply, quietly.

"You won't. I promise you." Han assured her. He kissed her forehead. Then the tip of her nose. Then her lips before rubbing her nose with his, their own personal expression of love.

"Come on Princess. Let's go be with our baby boy." He spoke calmly, despite the feelings of emptiness and sorrow forming in the pit of his stomach.

The transport Winter had arranged was just like any other and would easily be lost in the jungle of transports leaving and arriving on Coruscant. Winter saw them off, giving Han a small package and a knowing stare.

"One small drop in a cup of caf. She'll sleep the whole way." Winter told him.

"What is it?" Han asked suspiciously.

"A sedative. It'll give her a little peace before you arrive at Yavin and everything becomes very real and even more painful."

"Is there enough there for all of us?" Han asked, not quite jokingly.

"There's enough there to tranquillise a Bantha." She replied. "I recommend you use it sparingly. You may want to use more _after_ you've seen your child."

"Thank you Winter." He said, with feeling.

"I may not always have seen eye to eye with you Captain. But I wouldn't trade places with you today for anything." She gave him a tepid, if not entirely warm smile and another deep stare. "You take care of her, you hear?"

He graced her with a brief lopsided grin before climbing aboard the transport. Jaina and Jacen were strapped into the seats in front of their parents. Both were unnervingly quiet. Leia smiled weakly as Han slipped into the seat beside her.

"Captain says we'll be under way in a few minutes." She told him.

"You okay?" He asked, gripping her hand. She shrugged her shoulders in response.

"I'll get you some caf." He said, not giving her chance to decline and returning with a mug for each of them.

She accepted it without a word and sipped it slowly.

They were soon on their way and Leia had drunk around half of her caf when it's effects finally started to work. She fought the urge to sleep as hard as she could but eventually she had to give in, curling up on her seat, her head in Han's lap. He watched her sleep until they were above Yavin's 4th moon, home to Luke's Jedi Praxeum, then very gently nudged her awake.

"We here already?" She asked, groggily.

"Soon. I thought you might want to freshen up before we land." He said.

"Do I look that bad?" She queried, as his hand softly caressed her cheek.

He kiss-blew at her as she moved past him to go to the 'fresher. While she was gone, he checked on Jaina and Jacen who had fallen asleep with their heads resting against one another. It made him smile, remembering how they had often slept like that as babies.

"Kids. Hey kids." He gently shook them.

Jaina woke first, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Did you drug us too?" She asked.

"Are ya gonna snitch on me?" Han questioned.

"Your secret's safe." Jaina smiled. "It's gonna be rough on her isn't it?"

"I'm not expecting it to be easy on any of us!" Han suggested and excused himself to see how the landing preparations were going.

"I was such a bitch to her over Dad and everything." Jaina yawned and stretched.

"Glad you finally realised it!" Jacen mumbled.

"Do me a favour? Will you stick by Dad so I can be there for Mom. I feel like I owe her." She asked.

"It doesn't have to be one or the other you know, we could actually share." He pointed out but caved in under Jaina's scrutiny and sighed his agreement.

"If anyone needs the 'fresher, now would be a good time. We're starting our descent." Han advised as Leia returned to her seat. "Okay honey?"

She smiled, took his hand and brought it to her lips. "Always. So long as I'm with you."

The landing was smooth and Leia could feel her heart and mind racing as they gathered their belongings together. Han offered a gratuity to the pilot who refused, saying it had been his privilege to transport his hero, Han Solo, although he understood the circumstances were not ideal. Han had patted the proud boy on the back and promised to ask for him personally, when they were ready to return. Then he joined the rest of his family as they disembarked their transport to be greeted by Luke.

Leia had been able to hold her emotions in check until Luke embraced her. It was then that she found she was unable to hold them back a moment longer and stood crying in her brother's arms feeling his gentle soothing waves of pure, honest love wash over her. When she eventually managed to straighten she felt calmer, almost refreshed by his touch.

"Sometimes Luke I wish I could bottle that Force stuff of yours, I'd make a fortune!" Han said, clapping his old friend in a man hug.

"Whatever for?" Luke queried and looked from Jaina to Jacen to Leia to Han. "You're already the richest man in the Galaxy."

The words had a profound effect on Han as he watched Luke loop an arm around Leia's waist, chatting to her quietly as he led his sister, niece and nephew through the late afternoon sunshine to his home.

Han followed, Luke's words filling him, heart and soul. Just what was it that defined a man's wealth? The credits in his pocket or the love in his heart. And where did that love come from? His capacity to love others? Or others capacity to love him.  
Philosophical debate was not Han's forte so in the absence of any necessity to enter into any discussion at present, he parked that particular conversation piece for later.

Mara was at the homestead to welcome them. She looked more tired than Han remembered but, he reminded himself, they did have a young child keeping them awake nights.

"Our accommodation is limited I'm afraid," Mara apologised. "We have a small guest room for Han and Leia and I thought the twins might share the nursery. I know it's not ideal, but we live a simple life here."

"It's no problem. Honestly. We're just so grateful to you for letting us stay." Leia smiled warmly.

"I wish the circumstances had been better." Luke added. "You hungry? You look hungry. I'm starving and Mara has been cooking all afternoon."

"He's lying. I'm a terrible cook." Mara interrupted. "Luke does all the cooking. Grab a seat, we'll talk and eat at the same time."

Luke caught the glance between Han and Leia.

"You want to see him, don't you?" He asked and shook his head sadly. "Sit. And I'll explain."

They gathered around Luke's small, functional table. Han with his arm draped around Leia's waist, his hand resting in a comforting way at her hip. Jaina sat beside her Mother, Jacen beside his sister, then Mara and Luke seated next to Han.

"There were three couples who went over to the Mining Outpost." Luke explained with a sigh. "We remind them of the dangers but we don't police them. They're young people who want to explore the ever expanding world around them. Some go to study, some just for the peace and solitude. Most are there to make out and whilst we remind them of the potential consequences, we're not about to stop them. They'd just find somewhere else to go and the outpost at least is pretty self contained."

Luke smiled as Mara rose to see to their infant Son who had begun to stir.

"Two couples returned following some kind of cave in. They were shaken but had only minor injuries. The story was patchy to start with, maybe because they were worried what we'd say. Anyway, it appears that one of the students had been constructing a lightsaber. He, or she, was igniting it when it malfunctioned. The resulting explosion brought down the caves." Luke took a breath and a moment to examine his sister and brother-in-law's faces before continuing. "One more person escaped because the other gave his life to save her."

He let his words sink in and heard a slight gasp from Leia.

"Tahiri Veila is being treated for shock. I'm so sorry Han, Leia, we haven't retrieved his body yet, but Anakin died ensuring Tahiri was safe." Luke finished.

Neither Han nor Leia spoke, they were both busy absorbing the news.

"You need help digging him out?" Han suddenly asked, out of the blue.

"No Han." Luke assured him. "We have people on it. We just need to take it slowly so as not to risk any further life. It'll be morning before they can safely reach him."

"Ya hear that honey? We got a bona fide hero in the family." Han turned to Leia.

Leia's eyes met her husband's. She knew he was just trying to lighten the mood. Knew it was his way of trying to maintain a controlled exterior. In the end it was Han who lost that control first, grabbing Leia and pulling her to him as he buried his face into her shoulder and tried to fight back his tears. Leia held onto him tightly. _Better this than getting drunk!_ She thought to herself.

Luke took the opportunity to slip away from the table and locate his wife, gently rocking Ben in her arms.

"He's fine. Just a little gas I think." Mara smiled. "How are the Solos doing?"

Luke's expression said it all.

"I know. There are no words." Mara said and sighed. "I can't begin to imagine..."

"They're strong. They'll get through this. In time." He told her and caressed his Son's downy hair lovingly.

Ben Skywalker purred at his father's touch.

"It's clear to see which one of us _he_ favours!" Mara grumbled.

"You didn't see the diaper he favoured me with this morning." Luke pointed out.

From the nursery doorway, Leia cleared her throat.

"I hope you don't mind, Han's taking our things into the guest room and wonders if you need a hand moving anything around for Ben?" She asked.

"We have everything sorted." Luke moved to embrace his sister.

"Please don't." Leia stepped back. "I'm holding it together the best way I can and if you hug me, I'll just lose it again."

"He was your son Leia. So what if you lose it?" Luke queried.

"Well, I have another son and a daughter who need me to be strong for them right now. Not to mention a husband. So please, let me do this my way. Okay?" Her breathing was deep, steady, measured.

Luke gave her hand a quick squeeze and nodded his understanding.

"We were going to eat." He said with a gentle smile.

"It was quite a tiring journey. If you don't mind, we'd all just like to lie down." Leia lied.

The truth was, Han was a proud man who had just broken down in tears in front of his wife, children and best friend. Leia intended to ensure he didn't have to feel embarrassed in front of them also.

"Sure. Whatever you feel is best. It was nothing fancy, just some soup. We'll keep some in the warmer by the stove if you're hungry later. Just help yourselves." Luke said.

Leia's smile was warm but her eyes were sadder than he had ever seen them before. She had endured her share of loss over the years but it seemed to Luke, that right now life and loss were testing her and Han to their very limit.

Mara and Luke returned to their small living space and let the Solo twins make themselves comfortable in their son's nursery. They'd set up two cots, apologising once again that it was all they had, before the left the twins in peace.

The door to the guest room was closed but Luke could easily sense the pain and desperation within. As well as hear his brother-in-law's soft whimpers and his sister's soothing tone.

"They'll be fine." Luke assured himself as much as Mara.

The guest room was small and dark and reminded Leia of the sleeping accommodation on the Falcon. It was homely, with none of the trappings of state the apartment she and Han had purchased on Coruscant.

Leia had smoothed Han's always errant hair and held him to her breasts until his sobs had abated and he'd finally fallen asleep. Lying now beside him, even in this light, she could see the puffy-eyed evidence of his tears and wished with all her heart she could take away his sorrow.  
It had been Han who had initiated so much between them over the years she realised.  
He, who had kissed her first.  
He, who had taken the initiative when it came to their marriage. Even if at the time, initiative was not a word she had associated with his actions.  
He, who had settled so well into married life and wanted more by starting a family.  
He, who through every twist and turn and every moment of anxiety in her life had been her rock; her saviour.  
She smiled to herself at that thought and tried once more to persuade a lock of hair away from his face before resting her head against his shoulder.

"I love you Han Solo." She whispered. And closed her eyes, a smile on her lips as she heard him breath "I know" in response.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning brought the news they had been waiting for, expecting and dreading, in equal measures. Anakin's body had been retrieved and was awaiting formal identification in the Jedi Temple.

Han had offered to go alone. Leia had been grateful, but politely declined the offer. So they had gone together, all of them, as a family and confirmed that the boy was indeed their son, Anakin Solo.

They had stayed with him, each consumed by their own thoughts and cherished memories, until they felt they had cried enough tears and mourned enough for now. They left Anakin under an Honour Guard and returned to the Skywalker homestead where Luke brewed stim tea and strong caf and hunted for something stronger still for Han.

"So, what happens now?" Han asked.

"That decision is yours to make." Luke passed him a bottle of beer that looked about a hundred years old. "You can repatriate him for burial on Coruscant if that's what you would like. Or I'd be honoured to perform a Jedi Funeral here if you would prefer."

"Here." Jaina spoke up as all eyes turned on her. "Anakin was the closest of us to be at one with the Force. Well, with the exception of Uncle Luke of course. I think this is where he would be most at peace."

"Heck of a flight to come pay your respects though!" Han commented.

"Jaina's right." Leia said. "Here feels right."

"Here." Han stated, dubiously.

"You don't think he belongs here?" Leia asked.

"Honey I'll support whatever decision you make, you know that. I'm just saying once it's done, it's done. There's no going back." He explained.

Leia considered his words. She and Han had made Coruscant their home. Jaina, Jacen and Anakin had been born on the planet and if asked would have called it home too.

"No." Leia responded, and repeated. "Here feels right."

"Yeah." Han smiled, after his own careful consideration. "You know what, it does. So, when?"

Leia turned to Luke for advice.

"As soon as arrangements can be made for your guests to arrive. We have limited storage facilities here and no mortuary. Not as such at least." Luke told them.

"I should speak to Mon Mothma." Leia spoke her thoughts out loud. "She'll know what to do and make arrangements at her end."

"No!" Han barked.

"Han?" Leia questioned.

"Family and close friends only." He scowled.

"They'd be here to support me." Leia insisted.

"_I'm_ here to support you." Han stabbed his chest with his thumb.

"Mon Mothma would want to be here. Rieekan too, if his health permits." Leia reminded him.

"Fine." He agreed, reluctantly. "But I won't have our son's death turn into a political broadcast or a media frenzy."

"I'll be sure to make them aware of that." She assured him quietly, gently squeezing his wrist and fearing he was starting to lose control again.

"What about his friends. Jaina? Jacen?" Luke asked, hoping to diffuse the tension.

"I think they're here already." Jaina answered.

"What about Tahiri?" Jacen queried. "Should we wait until she's well, she ought to be there."

"If it's okay..." Jaina ventured. "I'd like to ask Jagged Fel. Assuming he can get permission to come."

"Anybody else?" Han asked between gritted teeth.

"Winter. She was more of a mother to Anakin than I was when he was small." Leia said.

"I need a drink." Han stated. "And, no offence kid, I don't mean that squib-pee you imbibe!"

"Must I remind you, we are guests in this house Han." Leia pointed out.

"Must I remind you we're here because _he_ couldn't look after the son we trusted to his care." Han retorted, angrily jabbing a finger in Luke's direction.

Jaina and Jacen exchanged anxious glances.

"This is not Luke's fault." Leia reasoned.

"Then who's is it? Huh? Because it sure as Hell is somebody's!" Han rose and thundered away to the bedroom.

Leia could hear Han grumbling to himself and taking out his fury on the walls and furniture. Luke laid a comforting hand on Leia's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Luke." She started.

"There's nothing to apologise for. It's an emotional time." Luke leaned over to kiss her cheek and whisper. "Go to him Leia. He needs your strength."

Leia remained still for a moment, then turned a soft smile on her children.

"Speak with Winter. Explain your father's wishes and ask her, from me, to see that they are carried out." She told them and planted a kiss on each of their foreheads before following in her husband's footsteps. She paused in the bedroom doorway and watched Han, sitting on the bed, his head in his hands, spitting every foul Corellian cuss Leia had heard before and a few new to her.

"Have you finished?" She asked, closing the door behind her.

"I'm not apologising!" He told her, looking up.

"I'm not asking you to." She said.

"I never even wanted him to come here in the first place." He poked his finger toward her. "That was your doing."

"So, this is my fault." She stated, flatly. "Okay. Let's go back a little farther in time to when I wasn't so keen on having children and you talked me into it."

"So, what, _I'm_ to blame!" He thundered.

"No Han. Of course not. Neither am I. And neither is Luke." She approached him slowly. "That's why they call it an accident."

"Why is this happening to us?" He asked, his voice faint. "First Chewie. Then everything that happened to you. Now Anakin. What have we done to deserve this happening to us?"

"I wish I knew." She halted between his open legs and lay her hands against his jaw, thumbs softly stroking his cheeks.

His arms circled her waist and he let her once again guide his head to her breasts, hearing the beat of her heart. They stayed like that for several minutes with Leia stroking his hair and shoulders with her hands and his soul with the Force. Not that he would admit out loud to feeling the sensation.

A rap on the door interrupted them and Jacen appeared, flushed and turned his back to them, drawing an invisible picture on the wall with his thumbnail.

"Ah...sorry...er...Jaina's talking to Winter and she wants to know when to get here." He stammered.

"Tell her day after tomorrow. That should be enough time." Leia partly told Jacen and partly queried with Han, who shrugged his shoulder in a 'probably' gesture.

"Okay. And...er...sorry...again." Jacen mumbled as he went, closing the door behind him.

Han gave Leia his lopsided smile. "You sure he's mine?" He asked, jokingly.

"You were there flyboy!" She smiled back. "How would you feel about going for a walk?"

"A walk? Where?" Han asked surprised.

"Just out. Get some fresh air." Leia shrugged.

Han pushed grudgingly to his feet.

"I'll go apologise to Luke." He sighed.

"And I'll make sure the kids are okay." She stood on tiptoe to kiss him lightly on the cheek.

Han's apology was heartfelt and full of contrition. Although Luke insisted he needn't apologise Han did so again, to Mara as well, for good measure. Leia assured herself that her two remaining children were all right and coping before saying she was going to take their father for a little 'cool off time'. Both agreed that was a good idea and hugged her tightly. Now was not a good time for her to be leaving them, even if it was only for an hour or so. But she could only play with the cards she was dealt and right now, getting Han back in shape was her first priority.

They walked, hand in hand and in silence, for a little over half an hour. Leia remembered Yavin IV from when it had been the rebel base half a lifetime ago. Han had only really seen it briefly, but Leia was aware it could be as dangerous as it was beautiful and picked her route carefully before settling in a clearing and patting the earth beside her. Han, reluctantly it seemed to Leia, sat and grabbed a handful of grass to twist and turn in his fists.

"You remember when I found out I was pregnant with Anakin?" She asked him quietly.

Han just continued worrying the blades of grass in his hands.

"I was so mad at you." She continued.

"Me?" Han asked, defensively.

"Yes you! The twins were barely six months, I'd just about gotten my waist back and it felt like my nipples were _never_ going to _not_ have a child suckling off one of them!"

"_You_ were the one who didn't want an implant right away." Han reminded her.

"_You_ were the one who insisted he could withdraw!" She countered.

They sat in silence a moment as a grin spread across Han's features.

"Guess I got that one wrong." He laughed.

"Oh, you think!" She arched her eyebrow at him. "Three children, all under two! If it hadn't been for Winter and Threepio I don't know what I would have done."

"Say, I haven't seen Threepio." Han puzzled. "You think he's managed to piss the kid off so much he's deactivated him?"

"Stop changing the subject." Leia chided. "I was telling you how mad I was with you."

Han looked sheepish. "I did apologise." He mumbled tossing the grass aside and lying back.

"Yes you did." She replied softly. "But even if you hadn't, I couldn't have loved him more."

"He sure was a cuddly little fella." Han reminisced, his hand brushing her hip and resting against her buttock. "Remember when he was born?"

"Do I ever!" Leia rolled her eyes. "I swore than I'd get an implant before the cord was even cut!"

She eyed him indulgently. "Or get you chopped."

"And ruin what is an otherwise perfectly formed specimen of manhood!" He exclaimed.

"It wasn't your manhood I was thinking of. Just it's inner workings." She giggled and lay beside him, propped on one elbow. "I wouldn't want to deprive the Galaxy of something that was capable of giving so much pleasure."

Smiling she rolled into his embrace, her head soft against his chest, an arm casually pressed to his torso. His hand moved up to draw lazy circles on her upper arm.

"Glad we're in agreement there." He grinned, before turning sombre. "You know, if it had been me I'd want you to move on."

"Move on? You mean, meet someone else?" She asked.

"Yeah. I mean meet someone else." He told her, rubbing her upper arm. "Someone nice. Someone good to you. Someone to make you happy, make you laugh. Not let you get your own way all the time. Someone to have lots of sex with. I mean, it took me a while to break you in and I wouldn't want all my patient teachings to go wasted."

"I can't believe you just said that!" She said with amazement.

"I can't believe you didn't say you'd want me to move on if it was _you_!" He countered, equally amazed.

They lay, quietly, for some time before Han broke the silence again.

"We're gonna get through this, you know." He said confidently. "All of us. Together. We're gonna get through this."

"All of us? Together?" She queried.

"I know what you're thinkin' honey." Han sighed. "There's a couple of kids missing from this 'all of us' scene."

"Actually I was wondering if Wedge was still available." She smiled to herself.

"Wedge? Wedge Antilles! But you're cousins!"

"In Royal Houses, cousins are often matched together." She enlightened him.

"No cousins." He growled, cuddling her to him. "And no ex-suitors either."

"Okay." She agreed with a wry smile. "No Wedge. And no Isolder. For now, I'll just settle for you nerfherder."

Han could have stayed right where he was forever. Except, he had made the point himself, there were two of their children who needed both of their parents to be there for them now more than ever. They made their way back, hand in hand as they had on their way out. At the homestead, Han held his arms wide for his daughter to slip into his embrace and he hugged her tenderly.

"How's my little Princess doing?" He asked, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm fine Daddy." She confirmed, holding him tightly.

"And my number one son? You okay, Jace?" He queried.

"All good Dad." He smiled up at his father.

"I talked to Winter." Jaina told her mother. "She's going to organise everything."

"There are rumours all across the New Republic. Ranging from 100 casualties and 10 fatalities to 1000 casualties and 100 fatalities." Jacen advised.

"So, I told Winter what happened." Jaina said. "She asked if she should issue a statement on behalf of the family. I said 'yes', I hope that's all right."

"The holonet will be all over it!" Han sighed. "But you did right. At least they won't be bothering the families of other kids at the Praxeum."

"Don't count on it." Luke told them. "I've been contacted by just about every press organisation asking for confirmation of everything from Anakin's accidental demise to his murder!"

"Winter knows how to handle this. She'll set the record straight." Leia said, thinking.

"She's gonna bring some things, clothes and stuff. She didn't know what you'd want to wear, but she said she'd bring a selection." Jaina looked up at her father. "Dress uniform for you too."

"She better keep out of my knicker-drawer!" He grumbled.

Jaina and Jacen glanced at one another and Jaina pulled free from her father's arms. "Don't freak!" She told her parents.

"Why do those two words fill me with dread?" Han asked.

"I asked her to bring my stuff too." Jaina said. "I'm gonna stay when you guys go back to Coruscant."

Han looked directly at Luke.

"Hey! This was Jaina's decision, nothing to to with me." Luke held up his hands defensively.

"We talked about me coming to the Praxeum." Jaina continued.

"That was before." Han turned back to look at her.

"And I think it would be a good way to honour Anakin." She finished.

"You're sure this is what you want? You're not doing this to hide from anything or anybody are you?" Leia asked.

"I'm more than sure." Jaina said confidently.

"Well...then..." Han scratched the back of his neck, the way he did when he was struggling to form his words. "If you're sure...I mean, really sure. If this is what you want, then I guess it's what your Mom and I want too."

"Ohhh, you're the best!" Jaina grinned from ear to ear and flew into her parents combined arms to hug them.

Han hated the idea of losing his daughter to the Praxeum. But he hated more the idea of losing his daughter by trying to deny her wishes. He settled for holding her, along with her mother, for whatever time it was they all still had together.

"We thought we might go and see Tahiri, if that's okay?" Jacen said, interrupting them.

"I think that would be a very good idea." Leia smiled. "Your father, Uncle and I have some things to talk about for Anakin."

Jaina and Jacen headed over to the small medical facility, where Tahiri Veila continued to rest. On seeing them, she turned away and curled into a ball in her chair. The Solo twins exchanged worried glances.

"Please go away." Tahiri finally said, repeating what she had said to each of their earlier attempts at conversation with her.

"We just thought it might be a comfort to you." Jaina offered.

"I said. Go. Away!" Tahiri repeated.

"A few words. That's all. Just to say how much he meant to you. How much you'll miss him maybe." Jacen suggested.

"Are you stupid or something?" Tahiri uncurled herself and glared menacingly at him. "Don't you get it? Don't you understand?"

"You're hurting. Of course, we understand." Jaina reached out to lay her hand on Tahiri's arm. Just as quickly, Jaina pulled her hand back sensing something dark and malevolent.

"No. You don't." Tahiri's eyes burned like fire. "It was me. It was all me!"

The air seemed to crackle with electricity and Tahiri rose, seemingly right off her feet.

"It was _my_ lightsaber that ignited. It was _my_ lightsaber that exploded. It was _my_ lightsaber that killed Anakin." Her voice was a snarl. "It was _**ME**_!"

In the next moment, with Jaina and Jacen watching in astonishment, she stormed from the room.

"Did she just say..." Jacen started, breathing heavily as Jaina nodded at him.

"Listen to me." Jaina grabbed Jacen's upper arm. "Mom and Dad must never know what Tahiri just said. Do you understand? Not ever!"

"It was still just an accident though." Jacen said. "Wasn't it?"

"I don't know Jace, the way she looked..." Jaina inhaled deeply. "We keep it to ourselves. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Jacen confirmed.

"This is important Jace. It would break their hearts if they knew." Jaina insisted.

"I said okay!" Jacen grumbled. "I just don't get what it is you think you see."

"I don't know either." Jaina sighed and rubbed at a worry line on her forehead. "I just _feel_ like we're at the start of something. Something real big."


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the homestead arrangements for Anakin's funeral had been finalised and Winter had confirmed her travel plans by the time Jaina and Jacen returned.

Han was knelt on the floor, leaning over a naked Ben Skywalker lying in front of him. Han had hold of the baby's feet which he was using to cover and uncover his eyes, repeating 'peekaboo' to the disinterested infant.

Jaina frowned. "Dad?"

"Anakin used to love this at bath time." Her father explained, looking up. "You all did."

"Ben doesn't look too impressed." Jacen observed.

"He's not used to me yet." Han told his son, returning his attention to the infant. "He's trying to work out where the scrawny kid's gone and how come this handsome beast has taken his place."

"He's trying to read you, that's for sure." Jaina confirmed, sensing Ben's puzzlement. "Where's Mom?"

"She wasn't feelin' so good...peekaboo...so she went for a lie down." Han looked up at Jaina. "You leave her be. She's fine, just a little emotional."

"We talked to Tahiri." Jacen said, feeling the full force of Jaina's glare. "She doesn't feel up to saying anything at the funeral."

Han nodded.

"Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara?" Jaina queried.

"Jedi affairs. Life goes on, apparently...peekaboo..." Han replied. "Your Uncle's arranging accommodation for tomorrow's arrivals and for when Jaina takes up her place here. Peekaboo...I suggested your Aunt go with him so this little guy and I could get better acquainted."

He looked up at his children again.

"Your Mom thinks he's nervous of me." He told them, right before he was hit in the eye by a spray of warm baby pee. He wiped the liquid from his face. "She may have a point."

Jaina and Jacen burst into spontaneous laughter, joined by Ben blowing bubbles.

"Real funny kiddo." Han chided the boy. "And don't play with the hose, it'll drop off."

"Why don't you go clean up, we can look after Ben. And you could check on Mom while you're up." Jaina smiled.

"I'm not so old I can't get up and down at least a couple of times." He grumbled, rising.

"I know. Sometimes you have to get up three of four times during the night." Jaina grinned at him.

"Cheeky!" He winked at her and headed to the 'fresher then to the bedroom.

Leia lay with her back to the doorway, curled with her knees drawn to her chest. Han considered his words carefully before moving to sit beside her. "How's my beautiful Princess feeling?"

She sniffed and rolled onto her back. Her face was streaked by tears, her eyes red and swollen.

"I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to stop crying." She stifled back another sob.

"We just lost our son sweetheart. I think it's just starting to sink in for you." He stroked her hair and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "You know what. After the funeral I think we should get away, just the two of us."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" She smiled at him weakly. "Two somethings in fact?"

"No. I been thinking about them too." He smiled back. "Jaina's gonna be staying on here anyway and I know Jacen can handle the business 'til we get back."

"It wouldn't be fair." Leia said, after thinking about his suggestion. "They've lost their brother too."

"Yes. Yes they have." He scooted closer to her. "But they will bounce back, a whole lot quicker than either you or I will. We can stay on here a couple of days, spend some time with Luke and Mara and the baby. Make sure Jaina's settled in then take Jacen back to Coruscant before we head off ourselves. Just say you'll think about it. Huh? Think about it?"

She knew he didn't mean for it to sound insensitive, even if that was how it felt to her right now. It was common practice for the bereaved to take some time to themselves. A time to reflect and fully prepare for the future. Han was waiting patiently for her answer.

"I'll think about it." She agreed and drew his hand to her lips, kissing it's palm.

"You know what else I been thinking?" He asked. "I been thinking we should renew our vows _well_ before your operation. Jacen can maintain control of the business and, since we'll have had our second honeymoon first, I can devote myself to helping your recovery."

"You've been doing a lot of thinking." Leia observed.

"I've been playing 'peekaboo' with Luke Junior for the past hour. Even _my_ mind can wander, given the right circumstances." He gave her his heart-melting lopsided smile.

Leia pulled herself upright on the bed and swept her hair behind her ears.

"I've lost count of how many people have suggested you don't deserve me." She leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly to his. "They were wrong. It's me who doesn't deserve you."

"Took you long enough to realise it." He teased. "I'm gonna go make a start on supper. You'll never guess what Luke's managed to find. Nerf sausages! You're gonna love 'em!"

Leia's stomach rolled at the thought. Han surely did love his nerf!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Leia had felt uneasy all morning. A queasy sensation had settled around her middle as she and Han waited for the landing transport to deliver the guests for their son's funeral.

Winter had been true to her word, only their very closest friends were with her and all of them were anxious to embrace Leia who stoically accepted hugs from Mon Mothma, Rieekan, Ackbar, Wedge Antilles, Lando and Tendra Calrissian, Wes Jansen, Tycho Celchu and Gavin Darklighter, together with Jagged Fel and Tenel Ka Djo.

"Oh my poor dear! You look dreadful." Winter commented, hugging Leia tightly.

"Thank you Winter. Have you ever thought of going into the Diplomatic Corps?" Leia smiled weakly.

"Have you eaten?" Winter asked before turning on Han. "Have you made her eat?"

"Stop fussing! I'm fine." Leia told her.

"We're all just in shock. Do you know what happened?" Mon Mothma asked, as they were being led toward their allocated accommodations.

"It was an accident. Just one of those things." Han answered, gripping Leia's hand.

"No way to lose a son." Darklighter observed.

"No." Han growled angrily. "Much better to see him splattered against an asteroid or blown to pieces by a concussion missile."

"Han!" Leia admonished quietly.

"I...I didn't mean...I'm sorry...I meant no offence." Darklighter apologised.

"I know you didn't." Han sighed and turned to all of them. "I'm the one who's sorry. Leia and I, we're just coming to terms with this ourselves. If we're snappy with you...if we don't look or act like ourselves...well, it's because right now we're not."

He pulled Leia into his arms, held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

"But we're getting there." She told their friends. "We're getting there."

Luke took over, showing the guests to their accommodation and apologising that it was less than they were most likely used to. Then Han, Leia, Jaina and Jacen spent some time at the Temple meditating, praying or just plain sitting with Anakin.

Both Jaina and Jacen seemed at home doing whatever it was they were doing with their eyes closed and their thoughts, as far as Han could tell, focussed on their brother. To his mind, Leia was struggling to find any peace in this particular process though he doubted she would agree with him were he to suggest it.

With a sigh, he gently nuzzled her ear. "You done yet?" He whispered.

"Clearly you are." She whispered back. "Just relax. Let yourself sink down into your inner being."

"I tried that." He mumbled. "You nudged me awake!"

"You were snoring!" She hissed.

"He's at peace." Jaina stated and opened her eyes. "I'm going back to the homestead."

"At last!" Han commented and stood.

Jacen and Leia remained seated.

"You not coming?" Han asked.

"I'm not, as you so eloquently put it, 'done' yet." Leia replied.

Han half rolled his eyes and started to follow Jaina out, followed a moment later by Jacen.

"Okay son?" Han asked Jacen.

"We came to an understanding, Anakin and me, over the Force." Jacen explained.

"Good for you son." Han nodded, looking over his shoulder at Leia who was now standing beside their son's body and gazing down at him. "You go on ahead, I'm gonna get back to your Mom."

"What is it Dad?" Jaina queried.

"Nothing sweetie. Just want to make sure she's not doing too much." He assured her and winked at them before turning back and returning to his wife's side. "Honey?"

"I can't hear him." She whispered. "Not the way Jaina or Jacen can. And I want to hear him tell me he knew how much I loved him."

"He knew." Han said into her ear, his arms circling her waist. "Of course he knew."

"I feel like I missed out on so much of his growing up." Leia leaned into his embrace. "The twins too."

"We both missed out on aspects of their childhood. But they never, _ever_, thought we didn't love them."

"I'm ready to go back to the homestead now." Leia said. "I need to get some sleep before tomorrow."

"Okay Princess." Han hugged her to him.

Leia slept for most of the late afternoon and into the evening.  
Han tried to tempt her with dinner which she declined, but accepted a tray of fruit a little of which she even ate.  
It was late when Lando Calrissian swaggered into the homestead's bedroom, Han Solo lumbering at his side.

"Sssh!" Han slurred. "Li'..hic...Ley's sleepin'."

"Yeah." Lando staggered as he helped his friend to the bed and whispered. "You shush, before you wake her."

"Ya know summat Lin..Lun..Lon..." Han swayed as he bounced onto the bed.

"Lando." Lando advised him.

"Him too." Han pulled Lando to within an inch of his face. "Yer my best friend. Ya know that?"

"Yeah. Sure. Tell me that again when you're sober." Lando pulled himself free of Han's grip and helped him lie back as gently as he could so as not to disturb Leia. Then he left, closing the door behind him.

Leia sighed, audibly.

Han started giggling.

Leia sighed again. And tutted, rolling onto her back.

"You awake Hon?" Han continued giggling.

"I am now!" She hissed.

"I've been with the Rogues." He smiled to himself.

"No kidding! That explains the less than subtle odour of stale cigars and cheap alcohol."

"Aw, don't be like that Hon." Han turned onto his side to face her.

"I'm only surprised you didn't go the whole Hoth-Hog and find yourself a redhead to bed! That _is_ what constitutes a good night out for the Rogues, isn't it? The redhead I mean." She spat.

Han snorted.

"Only redhead worth a second look is married to your brother." He reached out to stroke her face but she flinched away from him. "Besides, I already snagged myself the most beautiful, most understanding, most incredible woman in the..."

"Did you _have_ to get drunk tonight Han? Tonight of all nights, couldn't you have just _tried_ to stay sober?" She turned teary eyes on her husband.

"You know, when someone's gotten as drunk as I have, as often as I have, he kinda learns a thing or two about how drunk people look and act." He told her. "Trust me, if I had been as drunk as the Rogues thought I was, I never would have won as many hands at Sabacc as I did."

"Is that in some way supposed to make me feel better?" She asked, her eyebrows knit into a thin line. "Our son's dead Han. Dead! Tomorrow is his final goodbye. And I'm supposed to be grateful that you managed to out-Sabacc your friends!"

"Maybe not right now. But you will be. I promise you, you will be." He pulled her to him, rubbing her nose repeatedly with his own as she again struggled to maintain her composure.

He held her close, soothing her within the envelope of his arms until they both finally fell asleep, waking in the same position the following morning.

Han's soft snore resonated against Leia's face as she felt herself stirring awake. The realisation of the day loosened the knot in her stomach and sent waves of nausea coursing through her body and into her throat.

Trying desperately not to disturb her sleeping husband, Leia clambered over him out of the bed and rushed into the 'fresher where she emptied the meagre contents of her stomach into the face basin.

Her head hurt and despite the heated flush she could feel, her cheeks were ashen as she examined her appearance in the mirror.

A few deep breaths and a beaming smile at her own reflection failed to show any improvement which was confirmed when Han told her she looked like "Hell."

"I _feel_ like Hell." She informed him and returned to the bedroom where she willed herself to get a grip.

He watched her busy herself, tidying away dirty outfits and preparing their clothing for the day ahead, plucking repeatedly at a piece of lint from her robe only she seemed able to see.

"Damnit!" She cursed and hurled the robe to the floor, covering her face with her hands. Swiftly, he moved to cradle her but she pushed him away.

"I'm fine." She told him, bending awkwardly to retrieve the discarded clothing and folding it over her arm.

"Leia." He soothed and tried again to embrace her, only to once again be pushed away.

"Stop it!" She barked. "Will you just stop it!"

"I only want to comfort you." He told her softly and let her struggle against him until her fight was exhausted and she fell into his arms.

"Please let me go!" She said, though the fight had even left her voice.

"I'm not the enemy here, you know." He slid his hand into the hair at the back of her neck and massaged gently.

"I hate you." She said, her arms creeping around his waist.

"Yeah. I know." He kissed the top of her head and rocked her from side to side until she had calmed and untangled herself from his embrace.

"I wasn't drunk last night." He assured her, cupping her cheeks in his hands.

"I know. I'm sorry I suggested you were." She sniffed back another tear.

"Hey." He kissed the tip of her nose tenderly. "Today, let's not to be sorry for anything. Let's just be grateful for everything."

He held her again and they stood in each others arms in the quiet still of the bedroom until a throat, cleared with a cough in their doorway, interrupted them.

"What is it Winter?" Leia asked, recognising the timbre of the cough.

"Luke and Mara have taken Ben to the Temple which gives you about an hour to get ready." She answered, turned discretely sideways to them. "I thought the Captain and Jacen might use the twins sleeping quarters to dress so that I might be of assistance to you and Jaina."

Leia smiled up at her husband and slipped from his arms.

"Thank you Winter." Leia took her friends hands and squeezed. "You know how to look after me."

"Good job one of us does." She arched a disapproving eyebrow in Han's direction. "I've also prepared a little breakfast for everyone. The twins are eating already and I'm not taking 'no' for an answer."

Leia closed her opened mouth and Winter left them alone.

"Hmm. Maybe being grateful for _everything_ was a touch optimistic!" Han grumbled into Leia's ear.

She playfully slapped his arm and smiled up at him one of the sweetest smiles he had ever seen.

"She's right about one thing though." Han observed. "You do need to try and eat something. Once the ceremony gets under way there'll be no time for the munchies."

"I'm really not very hungry." She told him, her eyes appealing for his understanding.

"I hear ya honey." He lightly patted her butt cheek and guided her in the direction of the breakfast table. "I'm just not sure Winter will see it that way."

Leia managed a little dry rye toast before excusing herself and again vomiting in the 'fresher. Leaning back, eyes closed, her arms wrapped about her waist, Leia breathed through the burning ache in her stomach and tried to again calm her senses and her nerves for the day ahead.

"Mom?" Jaina called quietly through the closed door. "Mom, are you all right?"

"Fine." Leia lied. "I'll be out in a second."

Leia exhaled and gingerly exited the 'fresher.

"Mom!" Jaina exclaimed. "You look like Hell!"

"Second time today." Leia explained with a weak smile. "Don't tell your father, you know how he worries."

"_I_ worry too." Jaina told her. "I'm going to call Cilghal."

"Who?" Leia asked, puzzled.

"Cilghal. She's a Mon Cal and the best healer there is." Jaina replied.

"I don't need a healer." Leia assured her daughter. "I just need to get through today."

"I know it's gonna be tough. But we're all here for you." Jaina squeezed her Mother's arm. "Me. Jacen. Dad. Especially Dad."

"Just so you know, your Dad and I are just fine. You don't need to keep selling him to me." Leia promised.

"Sorry. Old habits, I guess." Jaina grinned.

"Not a word to your father." Leia reminded. "I have your word?"

"Not a word about what?" Han asked from behind them.

"About...well...about the dress. When we renew our vows." Leia responded and hoped she sounded convincing.

"I've been thinking some more about that." Han said, scratching the back of his head. "And, I know you'll think the timing's a bit off, but...well...everyone we would want to be here is here already..."

"You...you can't mean..." Leia's brows knit together.

"Dad's right. Everyone's here already." Jaina put in. "And...you know what...why wait?"

"I don't know..." Leia rubbed at her temple. "It just feels disrespectful to Anakin."

"I'm not suggesting we take our vows while Anakin's still smouldering." Han added, not entirely helpfully. "But I think it would help lift everyone's spirits."

"Not _everyone's_ Han! Or have you forgotten our son?" Leia glared at him.

"Of course I haven't." He snapped back. "Nor have I forgotten that coming here has been a big deal for Rieekan, in particular. He's not getting any younger, you know. And it would break his heart to miss us retaking our vows."

If there was one thing Leia knew, it was when Han was right. She didn't always like it and she certainly didn't like having to admit it. But in this, she knew Han had a point.

"I don't have anything to wear." She commented.

"I'm liking the idea better already." Han grinned.

"And we were supposed to write our own vows." She pointed out.

"Good times, bad times, love each other as much today as...blah...blah..." He shrugged his shoulders.

"It _would_ make sense." She conceded. "And in a weird way, it would mean Anakin would still be with us."

"Hey, he'll always, _always_, be with us." He tilted her face up to look at his. Her eyes shone with tears and her face softened.

"Tomorrow. At dawn." She whispered.

"Sounds perfect." He bent and kissed her forehead. "Time to get ready, Princess. Time to kiss our baby boy goodnight, forever."


End file.
